A Timothy Johnson inspired short story, featuring Lilo Venter

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”
– Pablo Picasso

Tim walks up the steps of the stage towards the podium, he is ready to share a special message with his beloved congregation. In his hands he has three large slabs of Cadbury chocolate and he intends to give it away as gifts after using some of it to illustrate an important principle. As always, he engages his listeners and a few eager volunteers help him to bring his message home.

If a chocolate gift recipient stuffs his/her face and eats too much of it in a very short period of time, it will lead to nausea and vomiting. Continuing this trend on a daily basis for a longer period of time, will lead to obesity and compromised health. Ultimately, continuation of this daily trend for an indefinitely long period of time, will lead to grave illness and death.

THE NILE RIVER! It is when the precocious 8-year-old Ben Blake shouts out his answer that the auditorium erupts into contagious laughter. Incorrectness hardly ever gets this cute! Tim asked which river runs into the Dead Sea and the correct answer is the Jordan River. Tim calls Ben to the stage, and at first the boy with the mop of unruly curly auburn hair and cheeky freckled nose seemed a little indignant. Tim positions himself to be on eye level with Ben. He commends Ben for his confidence, shows him the locations of the two rivers on the map, and then rewards him with chocolate. Before sending him back to his seat, Tim asks Ben about the nature of the Dead Sea, and when he saw the sparkle in Ben’s eyes, he instantly knew that this smart boy’tjie was about to hit the nail on the head this time. IT IS AS DEAD AS A DOORNAIL, DOMINEE! Tim gives Ben a loving hug before sending him off and he receives an appreciative applause as he returns to his seat. Turns out that, except for the Jordan river flowing into the Dead Sea, NOTHING flows out of it and NOTHING lives inside of it. It is indeed as dead as a doornail, just as Ben said.

Tim reminds everyone that they are currently in the time between the time of Jesus’ resurrection from death and His ascension to heaven. Tim goes on to read from the Gospel of John, the conversation between resurrected Jesus and His disciple Peter who opted to return to his default setting of taking out a boat to fish. Jesus enquires about Peter’s love for Him, but Peter is too consumed with his escalating emotion and he is unable to appreciate the glorious beauty of the inexplicable grace in the words of Jesus. Twice Jesus asks Peter if he loves (agapao) Him, to which Peter replies with confirmation that he loves (phileo) Jesus. But the third time Jesus asks if Peter loves (phileo) Him and Peter, now emotionally distraught, replies with the same confirmation as before that he loves (phileo) Jesus.

The Greek word agape (pronounced ah-GAH-pay, verb agapao) is defined as unconditional, sacrificial and selfless love of divine origin.

The Greek word phileo (pronounced fi-LAY-oh) is defined as affectionate, brotherly and friendship love which is influenced by emotion and reciprocity.

Tim goes on to explain that God, in His infinite agape love for us, has blessed everyone with spiritual gifts. He desires for us to first discover our gifts and then to be willing to give it away by ministering to others. Just like chocolate gifts are not meant to be abused through face-stuffing gluttony and/or junkie hogging, God’s gifts are not meant to enrich and satisfy only ourselves. Unlike Tim’s chocolate gifts which ran out after being handed out to only a handful of recipients, God’s spiritual gifts can never run out and is available to everyone. Young Ben was absolutely correct when he described the Dead Sea as DEAD AS A DOORNAIL. But Jesus was NAILED to a cross where He died and He remained DEAD for three days before He conquered DEATH and became mankind’s only DOOR to eternal life. Jesus is the only Stream of LIVING water flowing from the Dead Sea of life on this broken side of eternity.

At the very beginning, even before Tim started preaching, he noticed the unmistakably insnuffable glow around Lilo in the front row as she was then surrounded by her beloved Wynand and three out of their four grandchildren. Lilo considers her grandbabies to be the most adorable little beings alive on the planet today, and Tim knows that her belief is not to instigate competition with anyone. Rather, she gives him a sneak peek preview of the inexpressible delight of an agape love awaiting him only weeks from now when his first grandbabies will be welcomed into the world. Tim could see how these three cuties made Lilo’s heart leap for joy and he shared in her experience of how it so welcomingly warmed up this frigid morning on the verge of the evil Free State winter. But then, somewhere during his preach, he noticed that Wynand and the cutie pie who sat on Lilo’s lap were no longer there. Unbeknownst to Tim, a teeny tiny crisis emerged when, suddenly without warning, another warmth (this time the very unwelcome kind) spread rapidly all over Lilo’s lap. Like two experienced stealth spies, in an impressively successful covert operation, Wynand scooped up the wet cutie pie wrapped in Lilo’s red blanket and whisked her off home while Lilo managed to hide her own soaked, shivering and smelly discomfort, almost completely undetectable, for the remainder of the service. Wynand returned just in time to share a special communion with Lilo and their two remaining grandkids.

With an eager readiness to wrap up and bring his ministry plane in for touch down, Tim was suddenly overwhelmed with the realisation that he might have had an inadequate understanding of Jesus’ motives during that conversation with Peter. Jesus did not take pity on Peter, and then subsequently lowered the bar of love in order for Peter’s phileo love for Him to be acceptable and pleasing to Him. There was no standard condition/requirement for or evaluation of love. Jesus felt intense splagchnizomai (another Greek word which refers to a visceral feeling of having one’s gut twisted into a tight knot) for Peter who was consumed with emotion which rendered him capable of, at best, phileo love. Jesus neither expected Peter to earn His agape love nor did He expect Peter to return it. This was the same Peter who was consumed with Jesus’ agape love and faith in Him to walk on water, but also the same distraught Peter, consumed with fear, who had to be rescued after he nearly drowned. And it was the same Jesus with steadfast agape love Who delighted in water-walking Peter AND Who mercifully rescued sinking-drowning Peter. Jesus wanted Peter to know that love is a gift too, and that as a recipient of God’s love, Peter will always have unlimited access to this GIFT of agape love. Jesus knew that a Peter consumed with faith, would be able to give away agape love. Jesus also knew that a Peter consumed with fear (or any other emotion), would only be able to, at best, give away phileo love. Jesus had enough GRACE for Peter to be okay with that.

Faith-filled Peter had a pretty good understanding of what it means to follow Jesus, the Source of ALL GIFTS. But fear-filled Peter had an even better understanding of what it means to be grateful for the GRACE of Jesus’ forgiveness for followers who fail sometimes. Just like Peter, we too, are called to make disciples of Jesus and teach them to follow Him. We first connect them to Him, so that they can plug into His unending agape love for them. Then, even in phileo love, we teach them about His GIFTS and GRACE while ALL of us has unlimited access to Jesus until the end of time. Amen.

Tim only learns about Lilo’s uncomfortable experience a few days later when the two of them connect over hot chocolate and fast food. Lilo shares with Tim how, despite her physical discomfort during the Sunday service, she felt an all-consuming wave of agape love washing over her and how she has embarked on a journey of diving deeper into it since then. With tender vulnerability, Lilo shares with Tim that, like Peter, she too becomes consumed with painful emotions far too often.

“You know, Tim, I have realised that splagchnizomai and agape are two sides of the same coin belonging to a currency that is not of this world. It cannot be explained and it cannot be contained. By implication/definition, both are GIFTS, independent of reciprocity and they foster a connection of togetherness where people can find belonging. Phileo, on the other hand, is a beautiful blessing which fosters a connection of togetherness where people can fit in. But phileo is definable and finite, it is not a gift, because it is dependent upon reciprocity and emotion. Jesus has GIFTED me with that divine coin and I am learning how to honour Him with it. I so often admit that I never really fit in anywhere, and while that is true, I don’t often admit that I sometimes yearn for the reciprocal love of fitting in. That’s when I become consumed with painful emotion. On Sunday morning it dawned on me why this happens. Everytime I yearn for a reciprocal yield, I attempt to trade with a priceless, perfect coin in an imperfect, indifferent world. It is a GIFT, not a currency and I am supposed to give it away and not trade with it. The Nile will never run into the Dead Sea, but the GIFT of love from the Stream of LIVING Water flowing from Dead Sea of devastation, never runs out – there is enough for me and everyone I give it to. Thank you for helping me to understand this truth afresh!

On his way home, Tim thanks the Lord for entrusting him with many beautiful GIFTS. He goes on to ask the Lord to help him be faithful with it and to show him where he, unintentionally, trades with it instead of giving it away.

*GLIPSIE is an Afrikaans word which refers to the involuntary, unstoppable action of voiding a urinary bladder in an inappropriate setting.